The Legend of the Dog-faced Woman

Animation based on detail from Triptych of Earthly Vanity and Divine Salvation, painted by Hans Memling c. 1485Animation based on detail from Triptych of Earthly Vanity and Divine Salvation, painted by Hans Memling c. 1485
Every year there is a date
on which all parents hold a feast
they eat and drink and celebrate
a certain hairy, monstrous beast
who growls as bad kids meet their fate
so listen up as I relate...
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

Once two kids of Satan's spawn
an evil boy, the girl a bitch
came upon a magic thorn
with which they pricked a sad old witch
and that was when the curse was sworn
and thus it was that then was born...
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

When children disrespect their mums
or fail to listen to their dads
when kids forget to wipe their bums
or won't switch channels in the ads
or scream or sulk or suck their thumbs
tell them a tale, and here it comes...
The Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

If you're a child who's loud or bold
evil, wicked, bad or naughty
who in the dirty mud has rolled
a child who's proud or rude or haughty
with hair of black or brown or gold
pay attention when you're told...
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

The mother who can't cope, it seems
will mope and moan and groan and whine
down her cheeks the weeping streams
it's sad, it's wrong, it's far from fine
her evil sprogs do haunt her dreams
one day into their ears she screams...
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

Awarewolf Book CoverA spasm of 49 vitriolic verses, hellacious haiku, pustulent poems, satanic sonnets and odious odes. Read 'em and weep! For kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader.
Now she has no sleepless nights
she tucks her kids into their beds
before she turns out all the lights
she kisses and she strokes their heads
it's one of nature's cutest sights
she smiles and smirks as she recites...
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

"You're a stinking little turd,"
said the father to his son
"To you it never has occurred
there's more to life than having fun
now listen to my every word
and don't forget that you have heard...
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman."

If you say "shake!" she'll lift her paw
like members of the canine species
she'll urinate upon the floor
or leave behind a gift of faeces
the ugliest thing you ever saw
only stupid kids ignore...
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot Could Be Verse?): For kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader. We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff.

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eBooks by Cosmic Rapture
(for kindle, tablet, smartphone or e-reader.)

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS. This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously and grotesquely illustrated.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?). We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS. A disturbing repository of quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS. An unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms, including but not limited to barbaric episodes of herring-flinging and kipper-kissing. A cacklingly bizarre read that may induce fatal hysteria. Not Recommended!

FIENDS & FREAKS and serpents, dragons, devils, lobsters, anguished spirits, hungry ghosts, hell-beings, zombies, organ-grinders, anti-gods, gods and other horse-thieves you wouldn't want to meet in a dark cosmos. Immature Content! Adults Maybe.

HAGS TO HAGGIS. An obnoxious folio featuring a puke of whiskey-soaked war-nags, witches, maniacs, manticores and escapegoats. Not to mention (please don't!) debottlenecking and desilofication, illustrated. Take your brain for a walk on the wild side. Leave your guts behind.